Journey of an Artiste- Under the Tuscun Sun: Choice: Heart or Fear- Nisha Designs

Under the Tuscan Sun: The first time I watched this film in 2003 I was literally at a crossroad in choosing whether I should accept this job offer and move from South Carolina to California or not. Yes no brainer but yes the trickster conscious mind of course had me twirling around like a bee in making my choice. I had to choose between ‘fear and living my dreams’ the fear was all about what I cannot have, do, and be all the physical things right, will it be stable, will i still have a job after a year, will I do good, what if they don’t apply for my green card I will have to go back to India(which was my greatest fear of going back, I didn’t want to go back) and it goes on and on…but it never once showed me the truth of the situation which was I hated my job, I was miserable, I didn’t like living in South Carolina and so now my choice was should i listen to fear and choose to be miserable? Or accept it and live my dreams. Which was the whole point for the trickster conscious mind to set me up for failure, and away from my heart…Phew! Stirred me up crazy coz it didn’t feel right inside me to choose fear.

At that time I had no idea about my inner being, soul. But she was right there of course inside me watching what I was doing and while I was busy in my head arguing with the trickster(which now I know not to give that voice my focus, attn or energy) coz my heart wanted to take a leap of faith but the trickster was stopping me. We kept the choice aside for a moment. And chose to take a break and watch this film. And as soon as this conversation showed up that was it. In a split second I made my choice. No battle, no fear only that I want this and this is it. I had chosen to live my dreams and kick my fear and conscious mind in their ass.

This is how our souls work through us. If we just stay calm we will be able to hear our inner voice. This conversation was like me having a heart to heart talk with my inner being. She had to get me to a movie to get me out of my head and connect to my heart. Our souls work in mysterious ways. Follow the silence. It’s that simple but yet we make it complex for ourselves.

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